feels like home

new year.
new domain.
same feeling.

ive said it before - "i always find myself coming back here."

its like talking to an old friend who knows everything about me. no need to explain, no backstory needed. i just verbal diarrhea anything and everything thats on my mind. i always feel like i need to share it, but other places just didnt feel right. but this, this feels like home.

lots of things happened between the last time i was here and now.

most recently, really trying situations.

i felt it coming. my body was getting tired and my mind not too far behind. i didnt feel present. i didnt feel awake. it was routine that i had little control over and had no joy. but i ignored it.

i shouldve known better.

i had the most intense dream about my immediate and extended family last night - the longest and most detailed ive had in a while. when i shared this with my family, my dad said, "you know, that tells me that the time you gave yourself yesterday allowed your brain to reset. thats good."

i dont know if thats accurate but just hearing that made me feel better.

today, i feel like im in a much better place. i consciously made decisions today that made me feel like i was actively using my brain.

trying to catch up to 100 days of SwiftUI today

again, i dont know why im saying this out loud here. maybe its present me wanting to tell something to future me.

maybe its also a bit of past me trying to remind present me that everything is relative. what i feel now is temporary. there is more to it than right now. i may not FEEL like i can move away from this right now, but even the little things can help me shift.

i cant wait to let much older me read through all of this.

what are you like?

did you come back here because youre having a hard time too?

or are you so overwhelmed with happiness that you wanted to say it out loud?

i hope this helped you find what youre looking for.