maybe it will help

i used to write a lot.

i dont know what happened.

maybe the cooling pad i bought tonight will help. LOL. i... dont know...

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theres always something off

theres always something missing

theres always something else

so do i have it all and im not content

or

im not content because i dont have it all

should i stop looking left and right

and start looking up and down

how?

how can i stop.

theres something there for me. theres something that im supposed to be doing. theres something that i will absolutely love doing. i just dont know it yet.

maybe i dont know because i cant be bothered. its there right in front of me, flailing, jumping, screaming.

its like im stuck. a wind up doll that wants to go somewhere but does not want to be wound up.

i want to be left alone but i dont want to be left behind.

i know theres more.

there has to be.